My best purchase

I would like to start this post by stating that I am in no way being endorsed for this review. I have not contacted Aveda and they have no knowledge of this post.

About a week ago I went to the spa and had the following conversation while I was getting my eyebrows waxed. (My hair grows too fast to pluck)

Spa interrogator: So... what do you use to wash your face?

BB: Well, I guess neutrogena right now. Or whatever is on sale.

Spa interrogator: And how is that working for you?

Obviously NOT that great..

BB: Well, I've always had really oily skin and I've tried a lot of products but it never helps. And I don't have that much money to keep testing products.

The spa interrogator then gave me the sale's pitch on this aveda product called outer peace. She said she used to have oily skin and that by the end of the long day you could wipe your hand across her face and grease a tire with it. Much like mine. And when I looked at her face I noticed that it was not one bit oily. It looked perfect.

Well, I tried it. And I was surprised. So was my mom. She kept commenting on how great my face looked. She said she'd never seen it look so good. So I told her about my purchase.

I'm sharing this with you because I know what it's like to have really oily skin. It's especially irritating in the restaurant industry because of how hot you can get from running around a kitchen or bar. By the end of a shift it looked like I hadn't showered in a week. Same goes for the 9 to 5 lifestyle. By the end of a long day all I wanted to do was go home and wash my face. I would avoid going out with my friends after a long day because I needed to go wash my face and redo my makeup before feeling clean.

In a matter of two weeks my skin is recognizably different. It's amazing. I don't feel dirty five hours into my day. I don't wake up feeling gross. I just feel normal.

The product is a bit pricey.. but if you use it consertatively (once in the morning and once in the evening) you can make it last.

The best results will come from this use:

Outerpeace foaming cleanser
Botanical KineticsTM Toning Mist
outerpeace acne relief lotion

By using the toning mist (which lasts a very long time)instead of the toning pads offered in the outpeace set it will cut down on price. Also the toning pads may actually overdry your skin. So that is why I stuck the toning mist in there. It ran me about 90 dollars when I bought it through a spa. But I'm telling you it is worth it! If you've dealt with oily skin before... 90 dollars is worth it. I'm two weeks in and there is still a lot of product left. My guess is that I will go about 3 months until I need another wash and lotion. And that the mist will last a year.

Just go to aveda.com and type in outerpeace in the search section on the top right hand of the screen. Use this same process for the toning mist. Also if you are curious what other have to say there are about 250 reviews for the foaming wash and about 235 of them are positive reviews!

I'm the customer I hate

Ever since I've been reading and writing these blogs I have had an intense sensation of customer anxiety. I analyze everything me and my guests do when eating out. I try to read the server's faces to see what they are thinking. It's downright dreadful. I can't even enjoy myself. I'm thinking about boycotting restaurants altogether.

Yesterday during a break in appointments at the spa, my mom and I went to a nearby restaurant. It was really nice. The menu had interesting/new meals and you could see the kitchen and cooks through plexiglass. It was also super expensive.. well for what I'm used to.

We didn't have much time so we just wanted appetizers. We had to wait for about 15 minutes and were sat at a four person table. I felt bad because it was a Friday night and there was a wait. This waiter could have had people who were drinking and ordering meals. And he got us.

I cringed as a I told him that we had an appoinment (I was trying to let the server know that we would need to be served more quickly as their place is more about presentation and enjoying the atmosphere). However, I could tell this ticked him off. I almost saw his mind click over to "oh great appetizers" mode. He was short with us after that and rather rude. I'm sure he didn't feel like working for that seven dollar tip.. as our bill only added up to about thirty bucks.

He started to do things which made me think he was purposely trying to punish us. For instance, he would come to our table to check on us but wouldn't pick up the empty soup cups .. which I placed at the end of the table for easier access. He also would bring us refills but didn't take our empty glasses. And even though he knew we were trying to have dinner in a timely manner (we DID have forty five minutes so it wasn't that rushed).. and he saw our napkins were on the table.. he waited forever to bring our boxes. Then even longer to bring the check. And I realize he was busy but the servers had a team effort type of staff and helped out alot. I would see him kind of walking around not knowing what to do with himself.

This is just one experience I've had in the last few weeks. But I cringe everytime I ask for something annoying (like extra sauces) or for numerous refills (I'm quite the guzzler). If I stay and sit an extra twenty minutes and it's busy I can feel the server's stare. I'm all the things I hate in a customer. And the more I try to compensate by being nice .. I think the more it angers them.

On a funny note, I had a waitress the other day at a Chilis who talked like she was an auctioneer. I couldn't help but laugh as she was talking because it was basically impossible to understand her. And she would come by and tell me she was getting me another iced tea so quickly that I didn't even have time to say no thanks.

Any other servers or former servers have trouble being a customer?

Where are all the freaking spoons

Every weekend the owner would buy about three boxes of pens. And by Sunday every single one of them would be gone.

All week bartenders and waitresses would have to scrounge up pens from whereever they were hidden, and some of us would have to share. I'd watch the customers intently as they signed their receipts and snag the pen before it disappeared. People probably thought I was nuts. And then the weekend would come and we'd get more pens. But come sunday they would disappear again.

I swear the owner spends half his profit on pens for us. It's ridiculous. I don't know if the customers are swallowing them or if they are getting up and running out of the bar.. but I've found a solution.

The other day when I was signing some paperwork I noticed the pen I was holding onto had a plastic spoon taped around it. I asked her if this was their way of making sure people didn't steal their pens and she said it was.

I thought this was a clever little way of keeping your pen supply intact because who wants a pen with a spoon stuck to it?

What to wear, what to wear...

I was going to drop a resume off at a local restaurant today. It's very trendy and most of the ritzy people go there. But it's actually VERY busy. Their web site says they are hiring for all the staff positions, kitchen, serving, and banquet.

But, I didn't go in because I had jeans on. When I was at lunch, my friend told me that they have a dress policy there and that I would be way under dressed if I went in the way I was. The jeans were dark, I had on a black tee, and ugg boots.. plus I was all done up with my hair and makeup. I thought that was good enough. I've never thought that one should get dressed up when applying for labor type jobs. I mean in the normal workday you would wear comfortable clothes to work in.. so why should you get all gussied up just to turn in a resume?

I guess they work in black pants and button up tops. So I'm going to wait for my black pants to return from being hemming and go in dressed up.

I am wondering what other's experiences are with turning in resumes. If the restaurant is upscale should the applicant dress up in business attire? Anybody out there actually conduct interviews? Do you care what they wear in the food industry? I guess I'm just going by my previous restaurant.. which was VERY casual during the day. At night the bartenders dressed up.. but I would never expect someone to come in black pants to turn in their resume. I've seen people come in sweatpants.. and it didn't affect them in the hiring process.

I think I'm going to go with black pants and a white blouse. But I still feel weird getting dressed up business style.

Where is the christmas spirit?

You would think that the closer to the holidays.. the friendlier the patrons.

In my experience it's the exact opposite. People spend all day shopping .. shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers fighting over a pair of shoes that are fifty percent off or a coat that is practically free .. and they are grumpy. So instead of enjoying a relaxing meal.. they take their anger out on their servers.

I think the same happens when families eat out. There is more pressure by parents to get their kids everything they want and more. I don't know how many times I've heard "Did you get me that bike, mom? I really want that bike. Christmas won't be the same without that bike." Well sorry to tell you sonny but Christmas will be exactly the same.. the snow won't melt just because your bike doesn't show up on Christmas morning. I just want to shake the kids and be tell them Christmas is about spending time with your family.. NOT about how many gifts you get.

You might think that big rant has nothing to do with waiting tables or bartending. But believe me you, it does. Parents are exhausted from fighting with their kids about cutting back on presents.. and annoyed at the crowded shopping centers. They don't want to slave over the stove.. so they go out to eat. But the restaurants they can afford are just as crowded. They wait for forty five minutes and when they finally get seated they don't have a patient bone left in their bodies. Or they need a cold beer after a long day and walk into the bar and stew in their frustration. Eventually all these patrons take their anger out on the server.. in words and in minimal tips.

I wish Christmas was less about gifts and more about the spirit of Christmas and spreading that spirit around. I think everyone would be happier... well everyone but the kids.

You have to come in.. but you can't clock on.

I was responding to some comments on my post today and it sort of shot off a light bulb in my head. In my attempt to explain why my paychecks were so low (low pay because customers tip our labor costs, shorter hours than average job, etc.). Well, this made me remember something that occurred in my bar and I wanted to see if it happens anywhere else.

My boss, in an attempt to lower costs has done some ridiculous things. One of them was to hire his brother to do the schedule (which has caused chaos from the start). Another was to work the daytime manager shifts to save on labor costs (which has turned into a joke- as he calls in other managers almost every morning because he wants to do stuff like go fishing or run errands).

But one of the most ridiculous things he has done was to the staff. Without coming and telling us, he gave the managers a direct order not to let anyone clock into work when they get there. WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL WE GET PUT ON. Even though, on the schedule it might tell me to come in at ten pm.. sometimes I don't get put on until midnight. So I sit for an hour or two without getting paid. I think this is illegal.. but he has gone about it by telling us we will have to go on as soon as we clock in.. when there is clearly nobody in the bar and then the other bartenders have to split money with us and get pissed off.

Basically he has pitted us against eachother. If I want to clock in and get paid I have to go to work right away. Only the bar will not need me to work and will have to split the very little money they are making with me and everyone else who wanted to clock in. Therefore, everybody just waits until it gets busy enough to work and then clocks in.

It just annoys me because A.I'm getting paid like 4.50 an hour .. suck up that extra eight bucks. B. My average weekly hours are never over fifteen.. with or without the waiting to clock in rule. C. We don't have enough employees for this to actually make a difference for him.. he maybe saves a hundred bucks an hour.. whooppddiiidddooo.. We make him about 500 bucks an hour on each register.

Anyway, this is something that has always bugged me. I wonder if any other places do that.. and if it's legal.. etc. Please feel free to respond!

What kind of tip do YOU want?

One of the most uncomfortable situations I faced as a bartender was the inevitable question. "What kind of tip do you want?"

I hate this question for three reasons. One, if I tell you what I really want for a tip you will think I am A. Greedy and B. Rude. So to avoid seeing your jaw hit the floor I tell you the more reasonable response.. which is twenty percent.

Which brings up the second reason. I have to size you up in about two seconds. Are you the type of person who is the average tipper or will you be astounded if I suggest anything more than twenty percent. If are a cocky guy I will test you. I will say something like forty percent and watch your face. If your jaw hits the floor, as most do, I will say ohhh ok well how about and go for twenty percent.

Now the third reason I hate this question comes into play. I start wondering why you asked me this question. Because most of the time you don't want me to say some ridiculous number and empty your bank account. Are you assuming that I'll be a good employee and only suggest the minimum fifteen percent? Do you know that I will say twenty percent and you were planning on paying that.. so you are trying to show off how much money you have without actually spending any of it? Sometimes I misjudge the person and they are actually willing to tip more than I suggest. They say something along the lines of "Oh that's it?" Which makes me disappointed because now I'm thinking about how much I could have actually gotten you for.

What I hate more than this question is this question with a twist. "What kind of tip do you think you deserve." This is like asking someone what their best qualities are. It's uncomfortable and presumptuous to compliment yourself. If I say something that you have never seen in me then you think I am full of myself and delusional. And if I don't answer you assume I have no confidence. Well the same goes with this question.. if I assume I deserve the best tip possible then you think I'm full of myself and delusional. And you might even point that out. And if I say I don't know then you say something along the lines of "Ok then if you don't care .. I'll just give you fifteen percent".


These are not hypothetical situations. These have actually happened to me. Have you ever had this question posed to you? And if so, how do you respond? What goes through your head? Why do you think they ask this question?

The end.

Tonight was my last night at work. So I didn't really give a crap.. which felt very liberating.

I had one girl complain about me to another bartender because she said I was rude. I wish I had a video camera so I could record the encounter back to her when she was sober and show her who was rude. I again was dealing with the "EXCCCCUUUUUSE MEEE! OVER HERE!" bitches. I didn't have anyone else to serve at the time so I asked her what she would like. She made me wait there while she asked her friend what she was drinking. And then she went to into a whole list of questions about prices. By the time I got done answering her questions there were about five people waiting to order.

So when she asked me another question about prices, I did what I thought was most logical.. I walked away. I served the other five people and then I came back. She then looks at me and says "So, are you going to serve me now?" And biting my tongue I said "That depends. Are you ready now?" So she ordered a fuzzy navel. I made it, brought it back to her, and rung her up pretty quickly and then moved on. Apparently she was all pissy because she went and complained about me to the other bartender.. which did her a whole lot of nothing because I don't work there anymore.. complain about me all you want to, bitch.

I was very smug all night about all the annoying customers. Every time I served someone with attitude I smiled to myself knowing that I would never have to serve them again.

At the end of the night, I got whipped creamed.. a tradition at our bar. And I'm not kidding here.. I was covered in whip cream.. head to toe. My hair was like a giant ice cream cone. And at the end of the night everyone took a shot with me.. which of course included someone saying how I would probably be back in two weeks anyway. It was nice.. and I am going to miss the people I work with. But I have been saying for a few months how happy I would be to quit and put the drama of the bar behind me.. and I sincerely am.

dollar jager bombs.. so wait what's the total?

I don't know how many times I had this exact conversation:

Customer: What are you specials?

Really because they are written on four special boards. One is neon green and lights up. Very hard to miss. And the specials have been the same all year.

BB: Dollar fifty miller cans, 6 dollar rum pitchers and dollar jager bombs.

C: Ok. Can I have 3 jager bombs.

BB: Sure.

Bring back the three jager bombs and in case they can't add I tell them the price.

BB: 3 dollars.

C: Wait. How much?

OMFG. Can you really not add 3 dollars.. three jager bombs at one dollar each. I would have brushed this off if it had been one drunkie. But even the sober people were asking me the totals. I'm dealing with morons.

Thank goodness tomorrow's my last night.

Funny story.. I quit once .. actually almost exactly a year ago.. and went home for two weeks and then came back. Everyone did the traditional last night of work shot and said nice things. I hugged people I never thought I'd miss. (The bar where I work is four hours from my original home.) Had a big going away party.. mostly just drank with all the employees at work. And then I came back. So now everyone keeps saying.. are you leaving for real.. or are you going to come back in two weeks? I'm sure that will be the joke of the night on saturday .. because it will be my SECOND going away party. But I swear I'm leaving this time.

The boss man sent out an email telling people to say goodbye to me and that I was leaving to pursue my career. That was nice of him. I'll honestly miss it.. I get this sort of high from trying to serve as many customers at once and working my ass off. I'll miss my friends that work there.. although now there aren't that many left. I'll miss my independence.. I'm so used to living on my own and answering only to myself. But I probably won't miss the college crowd very much, that is one thing I am happily moving on from.

What I've been up to..

Hi all!

I am new to the blogging world (well fairly new) and I'm just loving it with every ounce of my being.

I wanted to invite you all to visit my new blog that I've started.. actually just a few hours ago. It's a bit of a baby.. but I have some good ideas for it. I will, of course, still blog on this site, but I had an epiphany today while I was... well you can read it on the new blog http://bb-myjourney.blogspot.com/

It's basically about my journey out of the rut I feel that I am in. I am 24 and I should be out enjoying my life.. instead of feeling like a hermit. This new blog has a lot to do with my moving home and starting over. I will probably be posting on it more often than this one for a bit.. since I am quitting my bartending job (I will be looking for a new part-time serving job though so I will not be disappearing). I want to document my twenties.. this will include everything from hunting for a job, trying to find financial freedom, meeting men/being single.. and everything else that I face.

I do hope that you will take a look.. and if it suits your fancy.. follow me! If not, maybe you know someone who might like reading it and I encourage you to pass it along. Anyway, that's my plug for my new blog!

http://bb-myjourney.blogspot.com/

Why won't anybody help me out?

Last week, after lots of traveling and little sleep I got a bit of a cold, that turned a bit worse. I had deemed myself bed ridden since I wasn't scheduled to work until this weekend. Well, Friday came along and I wasn't feeling any better. With all the sickness going around, I didn't want to spread any more. So for the first time in a long time I called around to try to get my shift covered.

Let me prefice this with saying that I always take shifts for people. On an average week, I take at least one shift per person... in addition to the three or four I'm already scheduled. Unless, I can't physically be there, like I am out of town, I will always help a bartender in need.

Well, nobody seemed thankful enough to return the favor last night, and it really made me angry. So for the first time ever I called my manager and said "I've tried to get my shift covered and nobody will help me out. I am sick and I'm wondering if you can help me out." Sure enough he asked one of the people that I already called --and begged-- and of course since the manager called they covered it for me.

I felt really guilty about having to call in without a replacement. But I just think with all I've done for everyone who works there someone could have picked up a shift for me.

Well, today I was supposed to work too. And instead of facing a barrage of phone calls that ended in me being pissed because nobody would get off their lazy butts to help me, I went into work. The minute I walked in and someone said hi to me and I responded in my deeply hoarse voice and intense cough, the manager told me to go home. And then he asked why I didn't call in. Someone that was working when I came in offered to take my shift right then and there and told me to get outta there. I'm thinking maybe people didn't offer because they couldn't see how hideously I looked.. and it took seeing me in my state to feel any sympathy. But nevertheless, I'm glad to be back in my bed.

the server's dream

I think that most server's have had a similar dream to mine ... or maybe I'm just a nutjob. But I've been having this reoccurring dream in which a customer leaves me a really big (undeserving) tip. It started out where this customer (just your average joe-- but yes it was always a guy in a business suit) comes into the bar and runs a tab with me on a particularly slow day.

The first time I had the dream he left me a hundred dollars on his tab. In real life that would be quite a good tip. I've gotten one before but I've had to share it with my fellow bartenders.

But clearly my subconscious thought this was cheap and it got greedy because now in my dreams he leaves me a thousand dollars, which would never, ever happen at my bar.

Is this something that other servers have dreamt about...? Of course I still have the nightmares about being so busy with so many guests yelling at me that my head explodes. But this dream is different, it's kind of nice, and I wake up feeling hopeful.. hopeful of what I'm not sure, but hopeful nonetheless.

Telling me to smile will not make me smile.

I'm so sick of this question. "why aren't you smiling?"

Well, asshole, because I'm serving these three guys their beers and am letting them know their total while these three girls just ordered some sugar filled crapcoctions that are going to take ten minutes to make and I'm trying to get the guy who's playing pool to pay for the drinks I just made for him. And the three girls just handed me three credit cards because god forbid they take turns paying rounds. And as I'm running to the credit card machine fifty million people are swarming around the bar exit so I can't get to it and I have to yell EXCUSE ME and push my way through because nobody listens to me unless I ask them what they want to drink.

Then when I get back I finally get the three guy's their change and get the attention of the oblivious pool player. Then I make the sugary crapcoctions and bring the girls their credit card slips to sign because they insist they only want one drink and don't need to open a tab (and they better believe when they come back up and try to use their credit cards again I will laugh in their face). Then I take the next six drink orders while I'm waiting for them to put hearts over their i's .... and surprise they don't leave tips.

And now I also have to add listening to your stupid question to my list of duties. Please, I don't have time for your question and I don't have time to smile. Here's a question. Do you smile while you punch numbers in your cubicle? Or how about when you type up a report for your boss on the computer? Yeah, didn't think so.

The power of the dollar

Has anyone noticed this interesting trend?

Customer will walk in and come to the bar and order a beer. Then he will leave a dollar. Well, that was nice. And then this same customer comes up and orders a 50 dollar round for his table. Also leaves a dollar. He will then come up and order 30 dollars worth of shots. And, you guessed it, leave a dollar.

It's like the new tip at the bar has become a dollar.. no matter how much or little people order. Yes, when someone orders a beer it's a significant percentage. But not so much when we are mixing drinks and shots up.


Disclaimer: This occurrence may be more prominent in the bar setting.

Homecoming party

Every year all of us hard working bartenders, waitresses, and security guys miss out on Homecoming because it is so packed in our bar. We also all end up working 13 hour days and are miserably tired and angry afterwards. So every year our boss picks one day where he closes the bar and lets us loose. Free booze. Need I say more?

Well, last night was our party and I am just now getting around to writing about it, which shows just how much fun I had. We each brought a dish to pass and every single one us brought dishes that could serve all 40 of us. It was ridiculous. We had mounds of foods. Two hams, one turkey, 6 casseroles, 6 desserts, 3 kinds of potatoes, mini hot dogs, polish mistakes, and not to mention the pizza hut pasta, the subway party sub, and the KFC chicken. We had so much food left over it was almost sad. We contemplated giving it to a shelter but realized it would go bad by the time we could get it there.

After our feast we partied hard. The only liquor the boss man hid from us was the grey goose. Everything else from jager to patron to crown and jameson was ours for the taking. There was a constant flow of people behind the bar making shots and drinks. We also had a flippy cup station and a beer pong table set up. I'm happy to report back that for the second year in a row I was on the winning beer pong team, which doesn't say much since every game seemed to last a half four. Man, we all suck at beer pong.

Last year the boss's finace (he knocked her up by mistake when they were casually dating and now she has a share of his millions.. lucky girl) dropped a knife on one of the waitresses legs and sliced it open. So needles to say, this year he kept a tight leash on her. Which means she wasn't allowed to flirt with any of our managers like she always does, she wasn't allowed to take shots, and she had to stick by his side for the whole party. No knives were thrown this time.

Actually nothing really out of control happened which is the first time. Some of the coworkers were smoking pot out on the deck which I thought was ridiculous with our boss merely a few feet away. But that's as wild as it got. Usually a couple girls make out with eachother and flash all the guys, and people end up pairing off.. but not this year.

After the bar was closed we went over to a house for after hours and played cards. The manager that likes to pick on me picked the rule for circle of death. He made everyone "diss" me before they picked up a card and compliment him. Well, when it came around to my turn I took a drink of my beer and said that I would rather drink that compliment him. HAHA.

The night went pretty late and I was pretty hung over today. I actually had to drive 4 hours home because I have a second interview up here for a new job. After the party, I finally put in my two weeks notice. It was funny because in the speech the boss said "I want to thank everyone who is here for everything they've done and will do in the next year. I don't think anyone is leaving us anytime soon so..." And my friends all gave me a nudge. Well, I didn't want to get uninvited to the party because I quit, so I waited till after!

Don't worry I'll still be posting about the bar. I'm hoping to get a new weekend job as a waitress or bartender up here when I finally get settled. We will see. Happy holidays to everyone!

the bottom line.

An annoying drunk girl is sitting at the bar. I ask her what she needs and she says "What can I get for free?" "Yeah, nothing."

I serve other people and out of the corner of my eye I see the other bartender approaching her. She asks him the same question. And he gives the same response.

Seriously, I'm sick of bitching about people asking for free shots, but what gives? Would you walk into the gas station and ask for free gas? Would you ask the video rental for free videos? No. So, back off. And, quite frankly our cheapest shot was on special for a dollar. If you come to a bar without a dollar, you have serious problems.

Later in the night a guy walks up to the bar and ask for a drink. There are 3 minutes left. Which in our bar, and most bars I am familiar with.. means "shots only". I told him this and he whined.. I expected nothing more. He then asked the bartender working on my side and he got the same response. He then walked to the other side of the bar and asked both of those bartenders as well.

What annoys me about this is that people will say "ohhhh but I can drink it quick before you close". Yeah, but the thing is they don't. They sit in the bar until we've exhausted our please leave the bar is closed's... and have to start taking drinks from people and pushing them out. And then they will whine about having the drink they paid for thrown away. Well, maybe you shouldn't have begged for a drink when you only had three minutes to drink it. So, I just follow the rules and say no.. because I will be the unlucky bartender who gets spotted making a drink after the call by another customer who is trying to get a drink at the last minute.. and then everyone wants special privileges.

My point is, when you ask for things like free drinks and drinks after they've called last call, all you're doing is wasting my and the other customer's time. I don't want to argue for five minutes about why I have to follow the rules. Sorry, I like my job. . and quite frankly I don't feel like risking it for you. And that, folks, is the bottom line.

check this out..

Ever wonder where you can find blogs similar to mine? Do you like reading about the bartending industry.. whether it be about ridiculous customers or new drink recipes? Check out bartendingblogs.com for a list of blogs that inspire me.

http://www.bartendingblogs.com/Directory.html

Most memorable tippers

I'm backkk! Well, not to work yet, but my computer is fixed thanks to this genius guy. I'm still at home searching for jobs. And it's going fairly well. I have two interviews set up for next week.. so hopefully one of them works in my favor. I will be sad to leave my job at the college bar because mostly I will miss the coworkers and some of the customers. I will miss my roommate because it's nice to have one of your best friends just a living room away. I will miss my Independence.. as I will have to move in with the fam until I get back on my feet. I will also miss the high I get from bartending.. but I will be looking for weekend work once I settle into a full time position. I'm trying not to think about leaving too much because I need to start developing my career.. it's just the best thing for me to do right now, and my hometown is just the best place to do that for me right now.

Anyway, on to my post..

Recently I have been writing a lot of negative things about customers. In light of that, I have three stories about my most memorable tippers, which are meant to be positive stories. I do love my work and most of the customers that come through.

**One of our more exciting times is around parent’s weekend. The college students bring in their family and most families know how to tip. This particular parent’s weekend I was the first cocktail on. I was doing pretty well, but I had one demanding table. The guy kept ordering rounds of jager bombs for his kid and his kid’s friends (which was like ten of them per round). I would give him his round, visit my other tables and come back in time for him to order another round.

This went on for about two hours. When one of the other girls went on I made sure to stick by my table because I didn’t want to have to split my tip with her if she put something on his tab as I had been working hard to serve him all night. So I made sure to let the father know that all he had to do was flag me down if he needed me. For once, I didn’t mind being waved down because I was keeping this tip.

Finally he asked me for his tab and I was relieved because I was the only person who served him. I asked him to sign it and brought it up to the cashier. The bartender who was serving me was pleased as he paid it out to me because he knew he would be getting his share of the 75 dollar tip he left me. I was very pleased and had a night full of really good tippers. That night I walked away with 250 dollars AFTER tip out. At my bar, that is an amazing night. Most of the girls now are lucky to make a hundred, which is why I switched to bartending where it is not so rare.

I came to find out later that my 75 dollar tipper who was ordering jager bombs all night was the president of jager. I’m not sure if that means he represented jager distributors around our area or if he is actually a president of the company. All I know, I was pleased with his tip and he was pleased with my service, as his tip showed. It’s nice when you work really hard to keep customers happy and they acknowledge that effort.

**I started working during the summer. It was definitely not the best starting point because it is unusually slow in the summer, moreso than most places because our main customers are college students. This day was more slow than most, as there were only three people in the bar. One was a coworker and his friend. And one was an old scruffy looking man. I asked him if he would like anything and he asked for a Pepsi.

I brought him his drink and asked for the two dollars. He handed me a 50 dollar bill and I told him that I would bring his change back, since I didn’t have enough to make change. He told me to keep it. My manager asked me to leave ten minutes later because it was so slow and thanks to this old man I made 48 dollars for working approximately twenty minutes. Probably much more than the bartender did who had to stay there for the full five hour shift.


**There is a regular at our bar, a lawyer no less. This man made it quite clear to me that he was a VIP at the college bar. The first night I worked solo I came into the bar to relieve one of our girls. She had been helping the lawyer and his wife. I wasn’t on my game as well I should have been because he was going through his beers like it was water.

I later found out that he regularly drinks like this and he is a very demanding customer. If he feels like he is waiting too long he will go to the bar and **gasp** you will have to split your tip with them. So it’s best to keep checking in on them every five minutes. There were other people that would hang out with them who included our drug court judge, a republican senator, and a police officer. So generally they all tipped very well.

On this particular day, the first day I served them, I wasn’t getting to them as quickly as I should have so they were going to the bar. When I closed their tab up they left a 100 dollar tip and made sure to let me know that this was only to go to the waitress who was on before me. I was upset that I wasn’t going to get any of this tip, but I understood. This was my first serving job and I wasn’t very good at it yet.

I made sure to let the bartender know that he wanted the tip to go to the other server. He then came up behind me to make sure I told the bartender that the tip was going to the other server. This was all sort of embarrassing for me. However, after that I made sure to check their table as often as I could and got on their good side. And now I get to keep the tips because I earn them.

As a bartender now I laugh when the lawyer comes up to the bar to get their drinks because I know that he will leave a small tip for this girl. I always tell the girls to make sure to take care of them if they want a good tip, but I don’t mind when he comes up to the bar because that means that I get to split the tip with her.

you're not getting an apology from me

I have to get this off my chest asap or it's going to bug me all day.

I had the worst two customers last night. You know, the kind that think that because I'm serving them drinks they can talk to me however they want to. And when they get a few drinks in them they think they can berate me.

So we'll bypass to about twelve am when the bar is busy and I'm trying to serve drinks to as many people as possible without my head exploding in the process. I grab a guy his beers and his friend is like I want five piece of ass shots. Now, I did not ASK her if she wanted anything she just sorta yelled it at me while I was helping her friend. I was polite enough to acknowledge her by telling her I wasn't sure how to make that shot because nobody has ordered it from me before.

Now as I am giving his change and walking away I can hear her sort of yell out liquors to me. And I knew the bartender who was serving that side of the bar (he was getting credit cards so I was trying to help a few people on his side while he was gone) knew how to make the shot. So I just let him get to her.

Anyway I keep serving my side and about a half hour later I go to the credit card machine and my manager is sitting there. He says "you have to work on your customer service skills." And I thought he was joking because he is new to managing so he tries to joke around with people and pretend to be the tough guy. So I ask him what he is talking about and he says "some girl just pulled me aside for like ten minutes and was demanding an apology from you. I told her no way was I going to make one of my bartenders apologize for not making her shots. But this was your reprimand. So just go with it."

I can NOT believe that she made such a huge deal about it. Everyone knew too because at the end of the night one of the bartenders asked who was demanded an apology from.. and I meekly said "me." Everyone's consensus was she was a huge bitch and that she was out of line. Apparently when the other bartender tried to serve her she asked for the manager and he pointed him out. She then yelled about me to the manager for about five minutes demanding an apology... obviously the manager wasn't going to ask me to apologize.

I mean first of all, I choose who I serve.. that's my one right as bartender and I'm going to keep it. And also I never asked her what she wanted and if had to serve everyone who was yelling drinks orders at me.. well I wouldn't have enough arms. I could see the manager getting concerned if I threw someone's drinks on them, or refused to give someone change.. but seriously because I bypassed you and made someone else drinks, you are going to bitch. GET A LIFE.

I've thought long and hard about this and if I was asked to apologize I would have said this:

I'm sorry that I didn't know how to make your shot and that I was letting the bartender who did, make it for you. I'm also sorry that it is your time of the month and you are so overly emotional. I'm sorry too that you got so drunk that you thought this was a big deal. But mostly I'm sorry you're such a bitch.

I hope she comes asking for that apology.

My other asshole customer came at the end of the night. Well, I served him at about 12:40. Him and his friend asked for vodka tonics.. which I swear I made right because most of the drinks I make I just grab and pour without thinking twice.. like it's second nature.. but vodka tonics always mess me up a bit because I automatically want to grab the gin. Anyway, my point is I was aware of the drink making process. I brought them their drinks.. they drank them.. and now we're at the end of the night when the lights are on and people are leaving.

I'm helping some guy close his credit card tab and I get this guy come up and I say "do you need to close your credit card too?" I wish I wouldn't have acknowledged him at all.. looking back. He says "I just wanted to let you know that you made our drinks with 7up instead of tonic and you need to pay attention more when you do your job because it's not that hard to pour the right drinks." I'm thinking: Asshole. And apparently that thought is written on my face because before I can even respond he says "NO! Don't look at me like that, you messed up and I think that you need to learn how to make drinks right." So I say "Maybe next time you complain about a drink I make you should tell me before you drink half of it so I can correct the mistake."

What I wanted to say was: You're a prick. I hope that you're not such an asshole when you're sober because if you are then you are going to live a very lonely, angry life.

What I wanted to do was take that drink from him and tell him if he didn't like it he didn't have to drink it and then throw it away. But I was too tired to care. Then when I walk back my manager says "Didn't feel like trying tonight?" As he's closing my register totals (see told you he totally picks on people- and I didn't slack I did pretty well). Which set me off.. and I almost lost it before I thought about how unimportant these people are in the grand scheme of my life.

What a saturday night.. glad I have a mini vaca starting today

The couple that wouldn't go away

So I was working at the tub last night which is dangerously close to the door and the breeze that flies through the door every time it opens. It was also, unfortunately, slow. So I was able to listen to this arguement that ensued between the door guy and this couple that wouldn't go away.

The first time him and his girlfriend came in and the doorguy looked at his ID and says "No sorry, I just saw this ID five minutes ago." And the guy is like "Well, that's ME!" Doorguy, "Well that may be true, but someone just used this ID to get in so you shouldn't use pass backs." Guy: "How do you know that?" Doorguy: "I remember the name and picture and the birthday, trust me I have to look at these pretty well." At this point I started to get customers so I couldn't hear the convo, but the guy sat there and argued with the doorguy for about ten freaking minutes. Meanwhile the people behind them were getting really impatient.

I was able to hear a few words like the guy saying that maybe someone stole his ID and was using it.. which means that the person who stole your ID, ended up at the same bar as you, and got there five minutes before you. Yeah, right. Passbacks are insulting. And more than that, that would be a definite fine if the police raided us (which happens quite a bit in our town.. not as much at our bar though because we're strict about not letting under-agers in)

So then the manager comes up to help remedy the problem. Now this manager is usually all I don't want to deal with this problem so just let the customer have what he wants.. but this time he actually brought his balls. He told the guy the same thing that the doorguy did with a little more authority and the man still bitched. So he told him to just get out.

Fast forward to thirty minutes later when the couple walks through the door again. Seriously? Did he think the doorguy would forget about him with the scene he made? He just got the manager right away this time, and although I didn't hear the convo I heard a lot of yelling. And the guy started getting in the manager's face. I don't know where in his thought process he thought it would be a good idea to scream at the one guy who could have the authority to let him in, but he did. At this point the girlfriend decided to start screaming and the manager did what any smart guy would do, he put his hand in front of her face and blocked her out. I mean really girl, this is between the guys they don't need your screechy voice in the background.

Finally, the manager said JUST GET OUT and DON'T COME BACK. And they did. For like one whole minute and then the girl throws open the door and says go get the manager. This girl is starting to get on my nerves because I want to hear/watch this conversation, but I have customers.. so I'm half paying attention to orders and half watching this couple make a fool of themselves. Anyway, I don't know what was said after that but the manager and the couple stepped outside. Maybe they apologized, I doubt it, but either way that was the LAST we saw of them.

On a good note, I was getting really good tips for working on the tub. I had four people coming up to me that were tipping me 100%, which was great since it was so slow. I ended up making 65 bucks for two hours of opening cans, which is great for me. Tomorrow I'm heading home. Hope everyone's weekend brings in lots of money.

Just so ya know..

I wanted to let everyone know that my postings and comments are going to be less frequent for a bit. For one, I am going home to job search for the next week and a half so hopefully I will be a bit busy. And for two, my computer BROKE. Seriously. With Christmas coming up and my getting less hours and people tipping like shit.. my computer went and quit on me (and I'm using my roommate's computer just to clarify). So I have to figure something out.. hopefully the computer guys can help me out and fix this.

I also got an email about a titled kilt opening in my hometown. Although, I'm not planning on "auditioning" for the joint .. it was nice to see that places are up and running in my home town. Also I just read a post about the place and it sounds cool, so I'm excited to check it out.

I will try to get back to posting my regular rants soon!

it's official

I'm officially looking for a new job! I'm tired of the crap being pulled from management about our scheduling.. I'm scheduled two shifts next week even though I have FULL availability. The problem is he wants to reward all the managers by giving them bartending shifts.. and now the managers have ALL the good shifts. So us actual bartenders are left with the bad shifts.. and barely any shifts at all.

I've been there for far too long to have to deal with all of this. I need a job where it pays to work hard.. and to put time in. I also will have to look for a job in my hometown because as far as barandgrills.. we are the only one where people make a decent amount of money. In my hometown there are plenty. So next week I'll be going home and be job hunting. I just really wish the economy wasn't so crappy because I'm sure there won't be many jobs available. Wish me luck!!

Welcome back... to the floor

I got a call yesterday morning asking me to cover for a waitress. And I was extremely nervous to take the shift. I haven't worked on the floor in over a year.. I don't even know what is on our new menu (well after our shift yesterday I do), and the girls have new rules that I am not familiar with.

Fortunately for me it was pretty slow.. and I still left with about thirty dollars.. so it wasn't too bad. I mean it was thirty dollars I didn't have before and I didn't do very much. And since I'm a bartender I was able to keep myself busy as acting as the bartender and the floor waitress. I probably only served 12 people total that day.. but everyone was very friendly. I even got a thank you from everyone I served. It definitley made me miss working with a crowd that wasn't hammered.

It was also nice to know I could jump right back in without any mistakes! I think reading all these blogs about serving has really helped me be more aware of my duties. When I started serving 3 years ago I was not trained very well. And the more I read.. the more I realized what mistakes I had been making. When I went out there yesterday I think I was better than I was before. Maybe I should suggest my blog reading list to some of our new waitresses who can't seem to handle more than two tables. Thanks to all those writing the serving blogs.. they've definitely helped me become better at my job.

I hope the newbie quits.

I haven't written about Halloween yet because I don't even know where to start.

Thursday and Friday night were miserably slow. It did allow me to take in all the lovely outfits. One of my co-workers said "I love Halloween because I get to see all the bitches dressed up like sluts". That pretty much sums up how Halloween is in a college town. I'd bet I saw more playboy bunny costumes than Hugh Hefner did on Friday night and it wasn't even really Halloween yet! There were quite a few mario's and only one luigi. We had a clever pair of cocktails dress up as trolls (nude body suits, and sprayed their hair neon colors and wore it sticking straight up).

On a high note, after a night of miserable tips.. in the last couple of minutes I took a ten dollar bribe from a customer. Our bar time is a few minutes fast.. so we end up closing and doing last calls a little early. Well, at this point it had been last call for shots for a few minutes. A man came up and asked for a beer and I said the standard "Sorry shots only, would you like a jager bomb?" He says no and takes out more money and I repeat myself. And again he takes out more money. He says "give me four beers and I'll let you keep the change." I saw the twenty and decided I could use that ten dollar tip.

And I didn't feel bad about it at all. I wouldn't even really get into trouble if I was caught by a manager because there is no clock around the side bar so keeping time is difficult.. you have to really listen to the DJ.. and I could just say that I didn't hear her call it.

So that was the highlight of my Friday night.

Saturday night I was at the main bar last on. The third on bartender wanted the night off so he gave his shift to a new guy who has never worked the main bar.. it was a disaster. The first thing the newbie did when he got put on was ignore the four customers waiting for drinks and went to help a cocktail waitress. The problem here is that we have a bartender who serves the cocktails and she was doing just fine. There was no reason for him to help her and ignore the people waiting. This is the same newbie who helped customers on that Thursday when he was supposed to be just helping cocktails. He can't seem to get it straight.

He also served one drink at a time. It was killing me to watch him. He would seriously walk up to a GROUP of people and ask one person at a time. Someone would ask for a beer and he would go get it, take the money, change the money, and bring it back, AND THEN serve the next person in the group. I know he is new, but how hard is it to remember more than one drink, especially if one of them is a beer. So, the manager had to put me on really early because this kid had no idea what was going on. That didn't bother me because I had a chance to make more money on my register, which equaled a higher tip out.

Anyway, there were about a million tabs and we only have so many clipboards. So there were about 5-8 tabs on each little clipboard. This means when someone tells me to put it on their tab I have to look through about 35-45 tabs before I can find their name and write it down. To make matters worse, the tabs hang from the top of the bar... which I can BARELY reach. So I'm on my tippie toes looking through tabs and one of the security guys is standing in front on me.. on the customer side of the bar .. drinking (he had the night off). And he proceeds to hit my hand while I'm looking through the tabs.. so I lose my spot and have to start looking through them all over again. He thinks this is funny when I tell him to stop. And then he does it five more times. Until I slam my hands down and tell him to stop because he's being a pain in the ass. Seriously, an employee should know not to screw with a bartender while their busting their ass.

So here I am .. trying to make up for the slack on my side of the bar because I'm working with the newbie on a very busy night. And as I'm going through the tabs again I notice that the newbie is writing the BARS tab totals on the cocktails side of the paper. Here's the basics of tabs we print out a slip of paper, write B and C on the top, and draw a line down the middle.. the last name then is written on the bottom of the paper. Anything the bar rings up goes on the B side. Anything the cocktails ring up goes on the C side. So this brilliant guy is putting the our sales on the C side. So I have to pull him aside and tell him to knock it off.

For some reason .. probably because he's never worked at the main bar before.. he thinks that he can't serve anyone on my side of the bar. Well my side faces the door.. so a lot of people line up on my side. His side faces the pool table where people mostly just "hang out". Ok so when he doesn't have anyone to serve in his 10 feet of bar space.. he just stands in the way. He doesn't try to help anyone on my side.. or the other 40 feet of bar space.. he just stands in the way. To prove his laziness even more.. while I was putting ice in my three cups because I had three drink orders to fill.. he starts pouring his liquor into the cup I just filled with ice and was about to use. Yes. that's right. He can't even grab his own cups of ice. He just lets me make them and then steals mine.

So anyway, I had quite the night trying to manuever between and make up for the newbie's mistakes. I would have been more pissed.. but I made over two hundred dollars more than him on my register and went on about a half hour later than him (I made 950 in two hours and he made 715 in two and a half).. so I got my revenge by taking home more money.

And then as I was about to leave.. I remembered I had worked early that day (4-9) and went to grab the cup of tips the waitress said she left me for helping her all day. Oh yeah.. she left me a dollar. A freaking dollar. Why even waste your time? Granted it was slow during the day.. but I tipped her our at least thirty dollars from credit cards.. and she also had quite a few cash tabs. And she's supposed to leave 15-20%. She could have at least given me five bucks.

Overall, I had a shitty week. I made less this week than I have in quite a while.. and it's only going to get worse with the holidays arriving.

All I wanted was a pack of gum...

So last night my work "horror story" started before I even stepped foot into the bar.

A few weeks ago my roomie and I were shopping for groceries at the local mom and pop grocery store. While we were in line the cashier shouts to us "so this is where all the [college bar] bartenders hang out!" I look around. Yupp only the two of us. And then I look at my roomie who is equally confused. We have about twenty bartenders, but I guess amongst a list of 7 others, we work the most. "Guess so" I muster out. On the way to the car I looked at my roomie and said "Who is that guy?" She's like "No clue."

So fast forward to last night when I revisit the local mom and pop to return videos and grab gum on my way to work. I get in line and the same cashier says to me "so you're not working at [college bar] tonight?" Hmm, so now he knows my schedule too. I seriously have NEVER seen this guy in my bar and I am not usually THAT bad with faces. So I tell him that I'm actually on my way to work right after I get done paying.

So as he is asking for my money he says "so are you going to hook us up with some free drinks?" By us he meant him and the bagger. So now I can't even go to the grocery store without being harassed about free drinks? I mean it's one thing to come into the bar and ask for free drinks, but now when I'm out in public I'm being asked too? And let me point out the ironic fact here. I'm paying you for gum while you are asking me for free drinks? I don't see you offering me a free pack of gum, do I? No.

So I say no I can't do that because recently people were fired for doing that, and there are cameras that monitor such behavior, etc. And he has the nerve to say "Ohhhh but come on..." Really? I just told you that I would be FIRED if I gave your cheap ass a free drink and you are still asking me? So I tell him no and that I need to get to work.

And then the bagger chimes in. "So is there REALLY a cover on Thursday nights? Why do you do that?" So clearly he knows the answer to the first question. And folks, it's a dollar. Gather some change together and suck it up. So I look at him and say "I'm not sure why you keep assuming I'm the person who is making these prices and cover charges, but I'm not. As for the cover, it's been that way for about a year now, and I'm not sure why the OWNER decided to do it."

So then I get asked a third time for something free. "So can we say you're name at the door so they'll let us in for free." Yeah, no. This is not some club where everyone stands at the door and the VIPS go through the red velet rope like you see in the movies. And at this point I was certainly NOT giving either one of them my name. So I tell him NO, and if they wanted a free cover pass they can go to Bingo (where it is put on people's cars). And a fourth time. "So you don't have any free passes you can give us?" Now I'm late and pretty annoyed. So I say as much and then start heading out the door.

And then the cashier yells at me and says "Oh we're not trying to be mean, we're just asking." Oh yeah you're just asking FOUR times for free crap at the bar I work at when I'm at your establishment trying to buy a pack of gum. Leave me the heck alone. And this is why I despise small towns.

bizarre complaints

I've had my fair share of "weird" complaints from customers and two in particular stick out in my mind.

The first one is a rather short encounter because I fought the urge to argue with this imbecile for very long. For a time, on Thursday nights we had a blue beer. And, yes, I'm talking bright neon blue. And we called it shocker, even classier, I know. It was only one dollar for a draft, though. I understood why people were a little taken aback by its colorful nature. And I even explained to them that it was just food coloring and it tasted like coors light. (wherein it was actually keystone dyed blue.. but that we were NOT allowed to say).

Eventually, I got a little fed up.. I mean customers were toting around the blue beers and most had been drinking them all night. So when someone decided to complain I just let them know that everyone else had been drinking them and they were just fine.

So here comes the imbecile. I'm busily serving the drunks that are now swarming the bar, as it is late into the night. People are waving dollars bills in my face like they are trying to wave down a taxi cab that is speeding past them. As I'm serving one guest, I feel a grab on my arm.. that was his first mistake. "Don't touch me, I'll be with you in a minute".. I say without even looking in his direction. "But hey.. I have a problem with my drink." (Second mistake because now I label him as a diva customer.) "OK! Well, too bad wait your turn".

I finish up with my guest and head in the arm grabber's direction. "Ok, how can I help you?" "Well I got this.." he says pointing to his blue beer.. "But there's nothing in it." "Um.. sir"... clearly baffled by his comment. "That's beer." "Yeah, but no.. there's nothing in it". To which I tell him "look it's BEER. I can't even hate you enough to not pour alcohol into that because it's pre-made. All I do is pour it." "Yeah well it tastes like there is nothing in it." "Well that's impossible because it's BEER." "Well, I don't like it." "Well, that sucks." And I walk away to another guest. I can feel his stare on me the entire time I make my way around the bar. Finally I get back to his group and ask if they need anything. He then drops his blue "not" beer into the trash and says "bud lite". Fine. I hope he tastes the beer in this one.

Next I have a similar story. I can not fathom how a person has the nerve to walk up to the bartender and say there is not any alcohol in a drink. One, it makes you look like an alcoholic because I (and you) know that there is alcohol in there. Two, you are accusing me of stealing from you and that pisses me off. If you think that I poured you a Pepsi and then charged you for the liquor that's not in it, then that means you think I stole from you. Third if you think that you're going to get a third shot in your drink for no price at all, you're out of your mind. I put the same amount of liquor in everyone's drink. Our boss doesn't even trust us, so he took away our free pourers and I use pourers that measure the shots. So there is no way for me to not put enough alcohol in your drink.

So I'm serving the cocktail waitresses one night and she brings up this customer with her. The fact that she brought him up to me and not to the manager is her fault because I'm not on damage control, I'm just the bartender. He apparently wanted to watch me pour his drink because he didn't think there was enough in it. Rightly, I was angry at him for accusing me of not doing my job well.. and for coming up and "watching" me. So I scoop his ice in his cup and I tell him "are you ready?.. So here I pour the whiskey... see that TWO SHOTS. Ok now here comes the gun. See now this is the Pepsi button. And now I'm pushing that and .. WOW! There's you're drink". As you can tell, I was a bit over the top in my performance.

Now since I showed him this like I would show a kindergartner how I tied their shoe.. I figured he got it, silly me. Now he decides to throw out the most ludicrous complaint I have ever heard and probably will ever hear. He tells me "this still doesn't taste like there is any alcohol in it." Ok. "Well, clearly your taste buds suck. But you saw me pour it in there so you can't argue with that." "Well, yea I saw you pour that bottle into the cup.. but that doesn't mean there is alcohol in there." "So you think that I filled up that bottle of alcohol with something that looks alot like whiskey because I knew you were going to come up here and complain that you couldn't taste it and I wanted to get back at you." He looks at me and firmly says "yupp". So now aside from bartender, I'm also a thief, a psychic, and a magacian.

If you have a better more deranged complaint than that I'd love to hear it. As for now my paranoid, alcholic jerkward takes first place in that department.

After that I told him to not come up to the bar anymore. And he did. Of course. The weird thing about him was that throughout our whole conversation he had this pleased look on his face. Like the more insane he sounded, the madder I got, and the happier that made him. And then he kept coming up to the bar and yelling my name and then waving and smiling when he caught my eye. Clearly, mocking me. (And don't get me started on how he learned my name.. isn't it like a cemented rule that when a customer.. especially one who is going to complain .. asks for the name of a co-worker .. you as the worker would either tell the customer you don't know or some fake name??? I always did that for my fellow co-workers). Anyway, I was just shocked by his happiness in someone else's misery. I couldn't fathom how he got pleasure out of insulting, undermining, and ridiculing me. And then I realized he was a sociopath.

pet peeves

I wanted to share some of pet peeves with you. (just a thought here.. but I wonder where the term "pet peeves" came from.. hmm.. maybe a google search later, anywayyy...)

We'll have specials on cans. For instance, they will be 2.25. And someone will come up and ask for a bottle. I so graciously tell them that cans are on special and they could save 50 cents. Most people take the can instead. There are the few people that scoff at the cans and say "No, I asked for a bottle."

Well, ok smartass I know what you asked for, I'm just trying to save you some money. The thing is this person who doesn't care about this 50 cent difference.. like it's chump change (but it can add up) will never tip, never. But those that get the can will almost always at least leave the seventy-five cents. It's not that big of a deal since I'm just opening a bottle for them.. but it just annoys me that they are willing to buy on average five bottles.. spending an extra 2.50 but can't leave the quarter they get back as a tip.

This even happens when we have mixed drink specials.. where someone can save a few dollars every time. They apparently have enough money to get a better type of liquor (most of our specials are on the cheaper liquors).. but don't have enough money to tip.

One of my other pet peeves involves tips too.. I see a pattern here. The thing about it is.. sometimes I understand that people can't tip. If I'm only giving one beer every like half hour.. and you wait patiently.. and you thank me.. and you don't leave me a tip.. I can understand. What bothers me is when a customer goes out of there way to discuss with me why they can't tip me.. because then it gets awkward.

I had a guy say "I'm waiting for my scholarship money to come in and then I promise I'll tip you." What am I supposed to say to that? First, you're pointing out that you come in here every night and don't tip me. You're telling me that you think it's ok that you don't pay for my services even though I always know what you want and pretty much have it ready the second you walk up to the bar. It's insulting to point that out to me.

Second, I am now supposed to say the obligatory "that's ok". The thing is.. if it became an understanding between me and customers that it's ok that they don't tip me then I wouldn't make any money at all. And if I tell you it's ok.. then why shouldn't it be ok for everyone?

Here's the thing.. if you can afford to spend a few more bucks on a drink and scoff at the specials, then you can certainly afford to tip me. And if you're not going to tip me please don't point it out because then it puts me in an awkward position.


***On a side note I wanted to thank the people who are reading my blog, commenting on my blog, putting my blog on their blog roll, and following my blog. It's extremely flattering and humbling that have people enjoy (or have any reaction really) to my stories.. and I appreciate it!

but that means I get a free shot, right? WRONG.

Some of this story was relayed to me by another employee:

On homecoming the main bar was a mess. It was the only bar that would take credit cards and our ATM machine decided to run out of money.. which is never good for anyone involved. You can imagine that since all the college drunks had been guzzling all day long.. that they had run out of money by now and were resorting to using their mom and dad's credit cards. Needless to say, the main bar was crowded and people were drunk and demanding.

One of my fellow bartender was trying to do her job as quickly as possible. She was having a little trouble doing that because one of her guests thought it would be a good idea to lean on her register to get her attention. She couldn't see what she was putting in to the register or the totals and he was really ticking her off. She told him to back up and he moved over. She took his order and served him the round of shots he ordered.

Then guess where he ended up? Back to leaning on her register. This time she was really ticked off because he was leaning so hard that he pushed the register. It almost fell off the bar, so she quickly pushes it back to it's place. Well this moron had put the shots on the small space that was left on the bar behind the register. The shots not only spilled, they spilled all over his clothes. He assumed this entitled to him... you guessed it... free shots. She didn't want to hear it.

She went about serving other people and another bartender walked down and asked them what they needed to drink because they were now leaning forward and shouting down the bar. She opened up a can of worms. He yelled the whole story to her and said "That girl is a bitch. You must not like her very much either becuase she's a bitch." Not a good way to get yourself a free shot buddy. All the bartenders here are friends. So you just called her friend a bitch. So the bartender said "Actually she's my FRIEND and you need to take this up with her because I'm not getting involved." And walked away.

For the rest of the night they leaned on her register and covered the totals every time she used the register. Then they began rubbing their hands together near her face so that she could see they were "sticky". Maybe they wouldn't be covered in shots if they didn't shove the register off the bar and almost knock it over.

Now skip to Monday night when I hear a man overtalking. He said "this weekend some bitch bartender spilled shots all over me and then wouldn't give me new ones". I just laughed because one... he was STILL bitching about this.. and two... he obviously was too drunk or stupid to remember the WHOLE story.. just the side that makes it look like we don't know how to do our jobs. Looks like he'll be waiting extra long the next time he wants to be served.

a change of pace

Today I came into work thinking that I was working 4 to 8 and then last on main bar later tonight. Then someone called in sick and I got stuck at the bar all day.

Since I was now scheduled four to close I asked for a quick break to get some food. Well, the manager was whoknowswhere and kept telling me to go ahead and eat. Well, that didn't work out too well when people kept coming up to the bar. So I ate in between trying to serve people and it was such a mess.

Finally, he told me to head back to the private party. For some reason the people in the party thought it started at 6 so they had been back there for an hour. So I went back there ready to begin. Well, there was no cash in my register so I had to come back up and ask the manager for a register. He was "busy" talking to an employee and said he would get to it.

Meanwhile I have to help out at the main bar because there are people waiting and no bartender. I help for about ten minutes and then I tell the manager that I really need to get back there. Then he decides to yell at me and tell me he'll get to it when he can and that even though our clock reads 7:05 (because we run our clock ten minutes fast to make sure people are out by one) that the party really hasn't started. I was extremely angry for getting yelled at. Seriously, stop talking and do your job.

At 7:15 I ended up in the private bar where we hold parties. It was a nice change of pace because it was an older crowd. But along with that, meant a lot less drinks to make and a lot less tips.

At the peak there were about forty people partying it up at their reunion. It was a unique reunion, though, because it was for a grade school that is now shut down. It was open for about thirty years and everyone who attended the grade school was invited. So there was every age from forty to geezer. There was one point when I was serving someone that I was wondering if he would take one sip and then keel over. I can't believe a seventy year old can still handle a jack and coke.

Some of the guests wanted to order some food so I went ahead and took their order even though I wasn't supposed to be waitressing for them. There is a table who wants to order so I take it. The man tells me he wants two sandwiches. Then the second lady tells me she needs a separate ticket and wants another sandwich and then finally a third lady wants an appetizer.

So I put it back and have my security guy go give them their tickets and collect the money because I was busy making drinks. He comes back and tells me that the man said he ordered for the second lady and that she wasn't supposed to have a ticket at all. Funny, because she specifically told me she wanted a separate ticket. So now it's my fault that they decided to NOT communicate and order one sandwich twice. Seriously if you're going to order for someone it would be a good idea to tell them so that the other person doesn't order for herself. They will only pay for one of the sandwiches and now I have an extra sandwich on my hands.. plus an over ring on my register.

The best thing is that even though I go through all that trouble for them.. they don't tip a cent. Next time I am working a party I will tell them that I am not paid to be their waitress because I certainly don't work for free.

At one point, someone decided to take charge of our cd player since the music from the main bar does not go into the private bar. She decided to become a music diva. She was at the cd player about every five minutes either changing the cd, switching a song or changing the volume. It was very annoying.

At about 11 everyone started packing up and heading out and I was scheduled to go on the main bar. Well, a group of about ten people decided to play who can stay up the longest and sat in the private bar until close. Between 11 and 1 am I made them only two rounds. So that equates to a lot of sitting around and very little tips. I have never been so bored.

So instead of moving inside the main bar and making seventy bucks I got to sit in the private bar and make about 7 in those two hours. It sucked.

a bar full of campers

Tonight I was on duty at our back bar. Last year this bar used to be the spot to go when the main bar was busy. When people walked in they could see that there wasn't much of a line back there. Unfortunately, a storage unit was built on that side of the door.. so now anybody walking in can see us.

Well if that isn't enough, tonight when I came in there was a table like two feet from the front of my bar. If anything kills business at the bar it is a row full of people sitting on their stools blocking the bar.

Then a group of people walk up and put a "beer keg" on the bar and block the only six inches I have left. The beer keg is a huge plastic container that we fill up with draft beer. It's essentially our best deal. So now I have people, coats, and a beer keg sitting on my bar, and nobody ordering from me.

I ask the group that if people come up to the bar could they move their beer keg so that I am able to get serve people. Their response? Well, we're alumnae. AND? Last week was homecoming week, this week is not. So I repeat myself and they just gripe at me and say it's not busy yet. And I tell them that's because nobody can get to the bar with their beer keg their.

So then I start telling my bar back about the group of campers. They finally move but not without threatning me by letting know that they would be giving me most of my service, so I should not have made them leave. Really? You just put a beer keg on my bar that you DIDN'T buy from me.. and are blocking me from selling anything to anyone else. I really doubted they would be buying anything from me since they had about an hour and a half to go through about 20 beers.

One of them actually did come up to order TWICE. The first time he ordered a drink, and after receiving his change threw their quarter at me. Classy. The second time the same guy came up and asked me for two shots of jack. As I'm pouring them he says "It would be really great if you could make one of those crown". Ok moron, well the next time you're ordering ask for a shot of jack and a shot of crown instead of making me waste a shot of jack.

After he takes his shot he hauls it to the bathroom. Apparently he was puking because one of security guys came up to him when he returned and told him he needed to leave. He argued with him for a few minutes and then walked out the door. We have a strict you puke, you leave policy.

Well a few minutes later my bar back asks the security guy "Isn't that the same guy you just kicked out"? Sure was. He changed shirts. So the security guy tells him that he really needs to get out and stay out. And he says that he wants to talk to the manager. The manager tells him to just get out. Haha, karma.

How hard is it to JUST do your job?

Alright, you’ll have to stick with my through a brief explanation. On Thursday-Saturday our bar uses a cocktail bartender. This bartender JUST helps cocktail waitresses. You can imagine that when he helps other customers he is taking away from our register totals. Totals=percentage tipped out.

Now, it was extremely slow tonight. There were only three bartenders on, usually there are four. So, on my side I had the cocktail bartender. He was helping people (other than the cocktails) before I got put on. That in and of itself, ticked me off. He was helping people and therefore I (the second bartender) didn’t get put on until 11:30 because it wasn’t “busy enough”. Yeah, of course not when you have a bartender who isn’t supposed to bartend helping everyone.

Ok. So I get put on. I have nobody to serve. I see the cocktail bartender serving someone. I tell him that I can take that order. He says ok. Next customer, he tries to help as well. I tell him to stop serving people because I have nobody to serve. His response? Well, I am not pocketing the tips. Well, congratulations. Because NOBODY pockets tips. I explained to him that the more he helped the less I was able to put on my register. And our register totals determine our tip outs. So he puts the money in my register. And I think he has it figured out.

I was wrong. Every time there was more than one person waiting he would help them. Hi, I am a bartender and I know how to serve more than one person at a time. I was getting so annoyed at him. He started putting the money from customers in my register. First of all, this is unfair to the other bartenders who are trying to make money on their register. Second, let them wait one freaking second so I can serve them. He was taking people as soon as they walked up. I would literally be giving someone change and turn around to take an order and he would be like put five dollars on your register. No. Just let me serve my customers.

So if that wasn’t enough. He was telling me how much he was getting. For example. when I was walking around looking for customers and someone walks up to the bar.. he races me to the customer and because he is like a whole foot taller than me ..he gets to them first. He tells me to put rumplemintz in my register and then says “Well they’ve been tipping me like five bucks all night”. I take the bottle from him and tell him I can handle it. Ugh.

So we go to count tips and guess how many fives I found? ZERO. Seriously, you are either lying and trying to get me to tip you out ..which I am NOT going to do because I could have served everyone two seconds after he did if he would have just given me a second. Or you were pocketing the five bucks. Either way, you’re an ass.

I understand he was trying to help. But all he was doing.. Was giving me NOTHING to do.. And making it unfair for all of the bartenders working. I mean, really, how hard is it to JUST do your job? It's a fairly easy description. Cocktail bartender=serve the cocktails and NOBODY else.

Country night has turned hillbilly

Country night has quickly turned from a large gathering of college student who enjoy the music and the line dancing to hillbilly heaven. Each week it gets slower and slower and I have a theory that these hillbillies are scaring the normal crowd away. I'm not making fun of the country music lovers, I'm a fan myself. But lately country night has drawn in the missing teeth, hat wearing, straight off the farm cowboys.

My first customers were a pair of hillbilly who are in the construction business. One ordered a busch light, that was his first problem. His second problem was that he wasn't tipping me a penny. He kept putting his quarter back into his levi jeans. His other problem was that he kept calling me "baby doll".

Another group of country acting people walk in-- and surprise surprise they appear to be friends with my hicks. Except this guy orders a round of patron shots. I let him know the price first, and he said that was fine. So, when I gave him his total and he acted surprised.. I realized he probably couldn't add either. This guy surprised me though and put down a five dollar tip. My bar back was busy and I didn't want to grab it right off the bar so I let it sit there for a bit.

The country group moved to the other side of the bar and my pair of hicks were about to leave. I overhear the busch hillbilly say "Look, dere's a five dollar bill. I'mmma take it." So I dash over there and grab my five dollars. Busch man places his hand on top of mine and says "Oh that's my change." I look him square in the eyes and say "No. I saw him leave my tip. That's from your friend. And I saw you put your change in your pocket." What I wanted to say was "You're too cheap to tip AND you're going to try to pocket the tips I've earned.. get your hillbilly asses out of here and don't come back". But I bit my tongue. His friend chimes in and says "Don't try to take her money .. you know it's not yours." We argued for a few more minutes while I was holding the five dollar bill and I just walked away and put it in my tip jar. They just turned and walked their cheap asses out the door.

The cheapness spread like a disease. I had one group of people ask me what the "freebies" were. I still don't get why they would even bother asking me that. Seriously, I don't know you.. so why would I risk my job so that I can give your cheap ass a free shot? Are you planning on paying my rent and bills for the next few months while I look for a new job? Didn't think so. Another group of guys ordered a round and then winked at me and said "So we get those for free, right?" I'm not sure what bar they walk into where all they have to do is wink their average looking eyes at the bartender and get a free round. But, not mine.

My face pretty much tells how I am feeling at every given moment. I can't hide my emotions well. So I'm sure everyone could tell that I was annoyed at this point. In fact, I know they could. I had one group of girls come up to the bar and ask for two drinks only I couldn't hear them because the loud mouth girls next to them were screaming, like shrieking teenage girls, directly into my ear. I shot them a look and I heard them say "She doesn't like you at all" and her response? "Oh, I don't care." Well, sweetie you better care because next Wednesday when you come into the bar and I serve you LAST you'll know why.

Alas, country night is over.

the summer of crazies

During the summer we have some pretty creepy people that come out from the rocks they hide under while the college students are flooding the streets. One customer in particular, is quite interesting.

The first time I saw him was with a Catholic church group who rented out our side room bar for "sermons and suds" Tuesday nights. I thought that in itself was weird. You are drinking AND throwing around religious terms. I feel like most church groups meet in churches and not bars.. but I'm digressing.

I have never seen this particular guy take a sip of alcohol, although if I did not know this I would think that he was wasted every time he was there. He liked to stand on the empty dance floor with his soda in hand. What did he do out there you ask? No, he did not dance by himself.. but he did like to stare at the multicolored moving lights. He could stand in one spot for hours staring at the lights.

This, however, is not why I think he's interesting. That is just one thing among others. Let me describe him. He was a rather tall man, and very lanky. He had a long pointy nose and very thinning hair. He also smelled like garbage.. which was probably because he liked to go around town digging through dumpsters. When he ate his food people would call him the "rat man" because he ate like a little rat. I think you get the picture .. he was just a character.. and lots of patrons paid attention to him.

What concerned the workers there, including me was the encrypted messages he would leave on his credit card slips. How someone who digs through dumpsters has the credentials to get a credit card is beyond me. But when he would get his receipt he would lean down real close to it as to make sure nobody could see him and begin to scrawl. The problem was we could never understand the messages. It was always just a bunch of words that never made a complete thought. And we usually hung them up on our pin board.

One day he wrote a legible (sort of) message. I picked up his check from him and it said "Cocktails need to get tail. Cocktails get big tail". Now whether or not he was implying what it sounds like he is implying.. I was completely freaked out by it. Clearly he is not in the right mindset and you have no idea what some people are capable of. I have never seen him in the bar again, as right after that the manager banned him. I have seen him digging through some of the dumpsters around town.

Other crazies we've seen throughout the summer months:

Boa lady. She had a bright pink boa and looked like she was about sixty years old, yet she came out to the bar every single night. Everyone would taunt her, yet she still tried to dance with the few twenty somethings that were left in town. She was the joke of the bar. Again, I never saw her take a sip of alcohol, but I would swear up and down that she was wasted.

She was like the stereotypical alcoholic grandmother.. only in public.. and with a hot pink boa.

One day outside in the parking lot she was talking to some of my guy friends and me. She told them that she had recently been released from the mental hospital. And if that wasn't even to scar us for life. She told us that she would give us a ride to the free clinic tomorrow, if we'd like, because she was going there to get tested for aids. Well, a few weeks later she disappeared again, and I'm sure that she was put back into the mental hospital she should have never been released from.

There is also the schizo who I have mentioned in previous posts. You will find him sitting at the end of the bar with nobody around him (because he smell so bad) on any given summer night. It's always awkward to walk past him when you are behind the bar.. because you aren't sure if he is having a conversation with himself or asking you for something. You want to think that he has a blue tooth in because he literally has conversations with himself at normal volume. Sometimes he starts yelling at himself. Now, unlike the other guys, he drinks. But he nurses the few beers he gets so he doesn't get the "alcoholic" free pass.

One day I was working.. and I'm the type of person to feel bad for these kinda guys.. until they cross the line and then I'm done being nice. Well, he was asking me how my day was and the normal conversation type of topics. He seemed, in this moment, pretty normal. I had maybe a two minute conversation with him and then about five minutes later I clocked out and left. Well, apparently he asked the next bartender to come over. "Hey, Hey. Come here really quick". The bartender said he came over and asked if he needed a refill and he said "No. No. You know that girl who was here.. she likes me. She told me she wants to date me. I'm going to ask her on a date because she told me she likes me." Sayyy what?? No No NO.

Then a few nights later I was waitressing.. he saw me waiting for drinks so he got off his bar stool and came over to my area. He tried to get close enough to whisper but I backed away and I heard him say "You are the most beautiful girl in this whole bar". Now, that's nice of him and all but I don't want some psycho who talks to himself.. argues with himself... to think I'm pretty because I have no idea what that will mean in his mind. Since then, it has become a given that the manager or another bartender who is on will help him when he is there. I don't say a word to him anymore. Not because I'm trying to be a bitch.. but I don't want him to take it the wrong way.. who knows what the voices are telling him.

The last crazy I have to tell you about actually happened before I was there. Apparently there was a regular who was the same kind of crazy as the three people I have mentioned in this post. He started sending letters to the bar saying that our owner is an evil alien and is trying to take over the town. He also thought that the workers were out to get him and that they were trying to kill him. Then he wrote a 30 page letter to one of the bartenders. Much of it did not make sense. But there were threats in there.. and conspiracies.. and theories. My owner brought it to the police and we have yet to hear from him again.. I'm guessing he's plotting his revenge in the corner of a padded room.


***On a side note I got my following thing all figured out! Thank goodness!

Can anybody help me?

I hate to post this here.. as it takes away from my normal blog entries. But I am having a big problem with my blog. As of a week ago it stopped updating who is following me. I'm not sure if the people who have requested to follow me are seeing my stories on their dashboard or not. All I know is that it is no longer letting me know who is following me.. and it's really annoying me. Has anyone else had this problem and/or know how to fix this problem?

Sorry about the non-work related post.. but I have been cooking up some good stories about some crazy customers and I will update later today.

Homecoming roundup

Oh... homecoming. A girl last night asked me if I liked working at the bar and I told her the truth. "Today is the worst day to ask me that question. Any other day.. and I would say yes.. not so much right now".

Here's a little background about homecoming weekend in our town. It is a homecoming for college students. They start drinking early Friday night... get little to no sleep and wake up for beer breakfast. Followed by a parade where people continue to drink. And then comes the free tailgating where the drinking goes on.. and the game.. and the bars. Well, yesterday it was raining so instead of having a pretty steady crowd of drunkards all day long... it was a freaking circus. All day long it was shoulder to shoulder busy. People skipped the parade and tailgating and game because of the weather and took shelter in our bar.

My day started off at ten am. Believe it or not.. people were guzzling beers and mixed drinks already. One girl approaches my bar to inform me that the bathroom was out of toilet paper. Well, I said, I would have someone put some in there. "NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER ANYWHERE IN THE BATHROOM". I think she expected me to be astonished and to run to the bathroom with my arms full of toilet paper .. leaving the bar I was the only person working at abandoned... so the drunk people can wipe. Well, I didn't. And she got all pissy with me and said I better go do it now.. to which I repeated to her that I would send someone. If she seriously thinks that after the four hours of sleep I got so that I could come in to work and serve annoyingly sloppy drunk people I would care about the toilet paper, she was sadly mistaken.

I also had a slew of people asking me where to get food. The funny thing about that is.. in order for them to walk to my bar to ask me.. they had to walk right past the bar that was serving food. I'm not sure if they missed the waitress who was standing on a chair taking orders or the HUGE sign that said ORDER FOOD HERE... but I tried to make each of them feel as stupid as they sounded. "Well walk through those doors and you will look to your left where you will see a giant sign that says ORDER FOOD HERE, and that's where you order your food".

I had a pretty slow morning/afternoon. I left for two hours and then braved the bitter cold outside bar. At this point everyone was wasted. And every employee had been working for over six hours. Annoying customers + over worked employees= employees not giving a shit when you whine about everything. I don't care that the bathrooms are a mess and there is no toilet paper. I don't care that our ATM machine ran out of money and the line at the inside bar (the only one that will take cards) is too long. I don't care that you spilled your drink and you think this entitles you to a free new one. I don't care if you ask me for a "stiff" drink.. you get what you pay for.

But what I really don't care for.. is the amount of people who think they can ask for free shots. Seriously? For one, the bar doesn't make any money when we give crap away for free. For two, you won't tip me if I give you a free shot. So it's really not worth my energy.

One of my managers .. who must have been pissed of prior to his visit outside came to my rescue from one group of customers. They were complaining because the stupid ATM machine wasn't working and they ran out of cash. So they insisted that they deserved a free shot. Well, I wasn't in any mood to deal with them so I just told them to stop asking and walked away. Well my manager overheard the conversation and walked over to them to have a word. I'm not sure what was said but they called me over to apologize for "harassing" me. HAHA. He must have really gave him a piece of his mind. I didn't know what to say in this situation because if I said that "it's ok" then I would be undermining my manager in a way.. and if I yelled at them then I wouldn't get a tip. So I just did what I always do when I don't know what to say and I didn't say anything at all. I just looked at him. He repeated his "I'm sorry for harassing you" speech and I again just stared at him.

So after the stare down he breaks the silence and asks for four shots. So of course since they told me they only had a credit card.. I asked if they had cash. They said yes.. hmmm.. surprise surprise .. cheap jerks. And I told them the total.. and poured the shots. Then they said.. and I'm not kidding with this "can I use my credit card?". Dense and his friends denser finally gathered up a wad of money and I took 16. To which he said "I thought you said 14?" And I looked at him and said "AND?" "Well 16.. ok .. um ok". And then they left my bar.

I had another group of dimwits who ordered a round of tequila. Well, actually he ordered "eight shots". And when I asked him of what he said and I quote "the cheapest shot you have". So in my mind cheap = no tip.. therefore I am going to give you the easiest thing to pour... tequila. As I'm pouring it into the cup of ice -to chill the tequila- sorry to those of you who are smarter than a rock and didn't need that explanation.. but apparently they couldn't figure it out. "What is she doing?" I hear the one guy yell. His response is "I don't know I asked for shots .. not a drink." So then.. ignoring them in my usual fashion..

I start to pour the tequila into the shot cups.. then I hear the buddy again question me "what kind of cheap shit is that". To which I slapped the cup down on the bar.. stopped pouring.. looked up at him and said "you're friend here asked for the CHEAPEST shot in the bar.. so I am pouring him the CHEAPEST tequila we have. If you'd like to pay for this round I can certainly bring out the patron". So then he asked me as I am pouring the tequila which is in a cup filled with ice into the shot cups.. if I at least chilled it for them. Ok moron what does it look like I'm doing?!?! At that point I told him to stop judging my bartending skills, that I know what I am doing, and that I'm tired of hearing his annoying voice. He then offered me a shot and five bucks as a tip if I took it. Now if only all it took to gain a customer's respect and tip was me yelling at them to shut up.. then I would be rich.

I think that at the end of the weekend, I was lucky not to be stuck inside. At least outside and in the side bar room.. when people came to me they were grateful that it wasn't crowded and I could serve them quickly. I also didn't have to deal with the stench of vomit and sweat that the inside bar wreaked of. Yes, I made less money. But I didn't have to work as hard.. or deal with as much crap (literally and metaphorically) as everyone else. I still made a good chunk of change and I picked up a shift to work tonight during the football games.

All in all, I survived homecoming weekend.. with a little more money in my pocket and not a scratch on me.