Telling me to smile will not make me smile.

I'm so sick of this question. "why aren't you smiling?"

Well, asshole, because I'm serving these three guys their beers and am letting them know their total while these three girls just ordered some sugar filled crapcoctions that are going to take ten minutes to make and I'm trying to get the guy who's playing pool to pay for the drinks I just made for him. And the three girls just handed me three credit cards because god forbid they take turns paying rounds. And as I'm running to the credit card machine fifty million people are swarming around the bar exit so I can't get to it and I have to yell EXCUSE ME and push my way through because nobody listens to me unless I ask them what they want to drink.

Then when I get back I finally get the three guy's their change and get the attention of the oblivious pool player. Then I make the sugary crapcoctions and bring the girls their credit card slips to sign because they insist they only want one drink and don't need to open a tab (and they better believe when they come back up and try to use their credit cards again I will laugh in their face). Then I take the next six drink orders while I'm waiting for them to put hearts over their i's .... and surprise they don't leave tips.

And now I also have to add listening to your stupid question to my list of duties. Please, I don't have time for your question and I don't have time to smile. Here's a question. Do you smile while you punch numbers in your cubicle? Or how about when you type up a report for your boss on the computer? Yeah, didn't think so.


megaphon said...

You are sooo right at the point!

"Can I get you another?"
"First lighten up and give us a smile!"

I can give you a punch in your face instead. You are wasting my time! Don't you see what's going on in here? Oh, I forget, you are a customer, i.e. center of the universe. Let me give you a smile.


SkippyMom said...

WHY do people feel it is appropriate to ask anyone in Customer Service Land why aren't they smiling. Grrr...this annoys me.

I have actually had customers tell me OVER THE PHONE "Gee you don't sound like you are smiling"

Y'think? You are a douche and annoying the hell out of me, why do you think I would considering smiling at this point in our TELEPHONE conversation.

I swear I try to put on a good face and I am not called "Skippy" for nothing, but the love of all that is sacred do.not.ask.me.to.smile.

I spit on you.

[sorry for the rant, but I have to agree with you on this - it is so annoying.]

LW said...

I get this all the time. Usually it is when I am waitressing and waiting for a drink from the bartender. The people at the bar tell me to smile or tell me I never smile. Um, yeah. Maybe because I have been waiting 5 minutes for the bartender to crack open a bottle of beer, or maybe because I am thinking of the five other things I have to do, or the food that's up in the window, or maybe it's because I'm not dealing with my customers at the moment and am taking a break from the cheesy grin I am required to wear for them. Give me a break.

Anonymous said...

If you smiled all the time then people would then wonder why you are smiling. At least when you smile it is sincere.

BB said...

haha yes megaphon and doesn't it seem like they say it in such a condescending way?

skippymom- I literally just laughed out loud at that comment. I can't believe they even say that when you're on the phone!!!

LW- yeah, exactly! we have way too much going on to think about smiling too!

waiter extraordinaire- That's very true! They would be like what the heck is she on?!

purplegirl said...

I hate that shit. There's a guy who's started hanging out at our bar lately who always feels the need to stop me and ask me why I'm not smiling. I always want to ask him why he's not sober.