Country night has quickly turned from a large gathering of college student who enjoy the music and the line dancing to hillbilly heaven. Each week it gets slower and slower and I have a theory that these hillbillies are scaring the normal crowd away. I'm not making fun of the country music lovers, I'm a fan myself. But lately country night has drawn in the missing teeth, hat wearing, straight off the farm cowboys.
My first customers were a pair of hillbilly who are in the construction business. One ordered a busch light, that was his first problem. His second problem was that he wasn't tipping me a penny. He kept putting his quarter back into his levi jeans. His other problem was that he kept calling me "baby doll".
Another group of country acting people walk in-- and surprise surprise they appear to be friends with my hicks. Except this guy orders a round of patron shots. I let him know the price first, and he said that was fine. So, when I gave him his total and he acted surprised.. I realized he probably couldn't add either. This guy surprised me though and put down a five dollar tip. My bar back was busy and I didn't want to grab it right off the bar so I let it sit there for a bit.
The country group moved to the other side of the bar and my pair of hicks were about to leave. I overhear the busch hillbilly say "Look, dere's a five dollar bill. I'mmma take it." So I dash over there and grab my five dollars. Busch man places his hand on top of mine and says "Oh that's my change." I look him square in the eyes and say "No. I saw him leave my tip. That's from your friend. And I saw you put your change in your pocket." What I wanted to say was "You're too cheap to tip AND you're going to try to pocket the tips I've earned.. get your hillbilly asses out of here and don't come back". But I bit my tongue. His friend chimes in and says "Don't try to take her money .. you know it's not yours." We argued for a few more minutes while I was holding the five dollar bill and I just walked away and put it in my tip jar. They just turned and walked their cheap asses out the door.
The cheapness spread like a disease. I had one group of people ask me what the "freebies" were. I still don't get why they would even bother asking me that. Seriously, I don't know you.. so why would I risk my job so that I can give your cheap ass a free shot? Are you planning on paying my rent and bills for the next few months while I look for a new job? Didn't think so. Another group of guys ordered a round and then winked at me and said "So we get those for free, right?" I'm not sure what bar they walk into where all they have to do is wink their average looking eyes at the bartender and get a free round. But, not mine.
My face pretty much tells how I am feeling at every given moment. I can't hide my emotions well. So I'm sure everyone could tell that I was annoyed at this point. In fact, I know they could. I had one group of girls come up to the bar and ask for two drinks only I couldn't hear them because the loud mouth girls next to them were screaming, like shrieking teenage girls, directly into my ear. I shot them a look and I heard them say "She doesn't like you at all" and her response? "Oh, I don't care." Well, sweetie you better care because next Wednesday when you come into the bar and I serve you LAST you'll know why.
Alas, country night is over.
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