the summer of crazies

During the summer we have some pretty creepy people that come out from the rocks they hide under while the college students are flooding the streets. One customer in particular, is quite interesting.

The first time I saw him was with a Catholic church group who rented out our side room bar for "sermons and suds" Tuesday nights. I thought that in itself was weird. You are drinking AND throwing around religious terms. I feel like most church groups meet in churches and not bars.. but I'm digressing.

I have never seen this particular guy take a sip of alcohol, although if I did not know this I would think that he was wasted every time he was there. He liked to stand on the empty dance floor with his soda in hand. What did he do out there you ask? No, he did not dance by himself.. but he did like to stare at the multicolored moving lights. He could stand in one spot for hours staring at the lights.

This, however, is not why I think he's interesting. That is just one thing among others. Let me describe him. He was a rather tall man, and very lanky. He had a long pointy nose and very thinning hair. He also smelled like garbage.. which was probably because he liked to go around town digging through dumpsters. When he ate his food people would call him the "rat man" because he ate like a little rat. I think you get the picture .. he was just a character.. and lots of patrons paid attention to him.

What concerned the workers there, including me was the encrypted messages he would leave on his credit card slips. How someone who digs through dumpsters has the credentials to get a credit card is beyond me. But when he would get his receipt he would lean down real close to it as to make sure nobody could see him and begin to scrawl. The problem was we could never understand the messages. It was always just a bunch of words that never made a complete thought. And we usually hung them up on our pin board.

One day he wrote a legible (sort of) message. I picked up his check from him and it said "Cocktails need to get tail. Cocktails get big tail". Now whether or not he was implying what it sounds like he is implying.. I was completely freaked out by it. Clearly he is not in the right mindset and you have no idea what some people are capable of. I have never seen him in the bar again, as right after that the manager banned him. I have seen him digging through some of the dumpsters around town.

Other crazies we've seen throughout the summer months:

Boa lady. She had a bright pink boa and looked like she was about sixty years old, yet she came out to the bar every single night. Everyone would taunt her, yet she still tried to dance with the few twenty somethings that were left in town. She was the joke of the bar. Again, I never saw her take a sip of alcohol, but I would swear up and down that she was wasted.

She was like the stereotypical alcoholic grandmother.. only in public.. and with a hot pink boa.

One day outside in the parking lot she was talking to some of my guy friends and me. She told them that she had recently been released from the mental hospital. And if that wasn't even to scar us for life. She told us that she would give us a ride to the free clinic tomorrow, if we'd like, because she was going there to get tested for aids. Well, a few weeks later she disappeared again, and I'm sure that she was put back into the mental hospital she should have never been released from.

There is also the schizo who I have mentioned in previous posts. You will find him sitting at the end of the bar with nobody around him (because he smell so bad) on any given summer night. It's always awkward to walk past him when you are behind the bar.. because you aren't sure if he is having a conversation with himself or asking you for something. You want to think that he has a blue tooth in because he literally has conversations with himself at normal volume. Sometimes he starts yelling at himself. Now, unlike the other guys, he drinks. But he nurses the few beers he gets so he doesn't get the "alcoholic" free pass.

One day I was working.. and I'm the type of person to feel bad for these kinda guys.. until they cross the line and then I'm done being nice. Well, he was asking me how my day was and the normal conversation type of topics. He seemed, in this moment, pretty normal. I had maybe a two minute conversation with him and then about five minutes later I clocked out and left. Well, apparently he asked the next bartender to come over. "Hey, Hey. Come here really quick". The bartender said he came over and asked if he needed a refill and he said "No. No. You know that girl who was here.. she likes me. She told me she wants to date me. I'm going to ask her on a date because she told me she likes me." Sayyy what?? No No NO.

Then a few nights later I was waitressing.. he saw me waiting for drinks so he got off his bar stool and came over to my area. He tried to get close enough to whisper but I backed away and I heard him say "You are the most beautiful girl in this whole bar". Now, that's nice of him and all but I don't want some psycho who talks to himself.. argues with himself... to think I'm pretty because I have no idea what that will mean in his mind. Since then, it has become a given that the manager or another bartender who is on will help him when he is there. I don't say a word to him anymore. Not because I'm trying to be a bitch.. but I don't want him to take it the wrong way.. who knows what the voices are telling him.

The last crazy I have to tell you about actually happened before I was there. Apparently there was a regular who was the same kind of crazy as the three people I have mentioned in this post. He started sending letters to the bar saying that our owner is an evil alien and is trying to take over the town. He also thought that the workers were out to get him and that they were trying to kill him. Then he wrote a 30 page letter to one of the bartenders. Much of it did not make sense. But there were threats in there.. and conspiracies.. and theories. My owner brought it to the police and we have yet to hear from him again.. I'm guessing he's plotting his revenge in the corner of a padded room.

***On a side note I got my following thing all figured out! Thank goodness!

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