I for one have never gotten so drunk in a bar that I have puked. I have been to my fair share of parties as a teen that ended in my submission to the porcelain god. But by the time I was at the age of bar dwellers I was out of that stage. Since my experience was working at a college bar.. I saw plenty of the puke your guts out drunks.
There were always the ones who tried to hide it by going out to the farthest corner of our deck. And the lucky security guard who found it at the end of the night got the privilege of cleaning it up. There were the ones who actually make it to the bathroom. And then there's my favorite story:
We have one manager that is female. She is pretty tough, which is why she was promoted. Well, one night she was standing at the end of the bar with a security guard. And some guy casually walked past them with his hand covering his mouth. Nobody thought much of it until we saw chunks flying from between his fingers. He was on his way to the men's room which is right next to the bar.. genius designers.. but didn't quite make it.
The security guard is covered in puke and suddenly turns from tough guy to pansy as he makes a pukey face himself. I don't blame him.. I would have gotten sick if someone puked all down my back. So he was sent home. And the manager was left to clean up the wall he puked on.
We have a rule that makes a lot of sense. You puke, you leave- no exceptions. While our female manager is wiping up the puke covered walls someone taps her on her shoulder.
Pukey's friend: He's actually not that drunk. He just isn't feeling well. Do you think he could just stay here with us?
Female Manager: I assume your talking about the guy whose puke I am cleaning up?
Pukey's friend: Well... yeah... um...
Female Manager: No, he's out.
This is my favorite story because of the audacity of pukey's friend to ask the person who is cleaning up puke from the walls and the floor if the person who made this pukefest mess can stay. Also, the security man who practically ran out the door to go home to change and shower probably would have had something to say at pukey's friend's request.
5 days ago