Why won't anybody help me out?

Last week, after lots of traveling and little sleep I got a bit of a cold, that turned a bit worse. I had deemed myself bed ridden since I wasn't scheduled to work until this weekend. Well, Friday came along and I wasn't feeling any better. With all the sickness going around, I didn't want to spread any more. So for the first time in a long time I called around to try to get my shift covered.

Let me prefice this with saying that I always take shifts for people. On an average week, I take at least one shift per person... in addition to the three or four I'm already scheduled. Unless, I can't physically be there, like I am out of town, I will always help a bartender in need.

Well, nobody seemed thankful enough to return the favor last night, and it really made me angry. So for the first time ever I called my manager and said "I've tried to get my shift covered and nobody will help me out. I am sick and I'm wondering if you can help me out." Sure enough he asked one of the people that I already called --and begged-- and of course since the manager called they covered it for me.

I felt really guilty about having to call in without a replacement. But I just think with all I've done for everyone who works there someone could have picked up a shift for me.

Well, today I was supposed to work too. And instead of facing a barrage of phone calls that ended in me being pissed because nobody would get off their lazy butts to help me, I went into work. The minute I walked in and someone said hi to me and I responded in my deeply hoarse voice and intense cough, the manager told me to go home. And then he asked why I didn't call in. Someone that was working when I came in offered to take my shift right then and there and told me to get outta there. I'm thinking maybe people didn't offer because they couldn't see how hideously I looked.. and it took seeing me in my state to feel any sympathy. But nevertheless, I'm glad to be back in my bed.

the server's dream

I think that most server's have had a similar dream to mine ... or maybe I'm just a nutjob. But I've been having this reoccurring dream in which a customer leaves me a really big (undeserving) tip. It started out where this customer (just your average joe-- but yes it was always a guy in a business suit) comes into the bar and runs a tab with me on a particularly slow day.

The first time I had the dream he left me a hundred dollars on his tab. In real life that would be quite a good tip. I've gotten one before but I've had to share it with my fellow bartenders.

But clearly my subconscious thought this was cheap and it got greedy because now in my dreams he leaves me a thousand dollars, which would never, ever happen at my bar.

Is this something that other servers have dreamt about...? Of course I still have the nightmares about being so busy with so many guests yelling at me that my head explodes. But this dream is different, it's kind of nice, and I wake up feeling hopeful.. hopeful of what I'm not sure, but hopeful nonetheless.

Telling me to smile will not make me smile.

I'm so sick of this question. "why aren't you smiling?"

Well, asshole, because I'm serving these three guys their beers and am letting them know their total while these three girls just ordered some sugar filled crapcoctions that are going to take ten minutes to make and I'm trying to get the guy who's playing pool to pay for the drinks I just made for him. And the three girls just handed me three credit cards because god forbid they take turns paying rounds. And as I'm running to the credit card machine fifty million people are swarming around the bar exit so I can't get to it and I have to yell EXCUSE ME and push my way through because nobody listens to me unless I ask them what they want to drink.

Then when I get back I finally get the three guy's their change and get the attention of the oblivious pool player. Then I make the sugary crapcoctions and bring the girls their credit card slips to sign because they insist they only want one drink and don't need to open a tab (and they better believe when they come back up and try to use their credit cards again I will laugh in their face). Then I take the next six drink orders while I'm waiting for them to put hearts over their i's .... and surprise they don't leave tips.

And now I also have to add listening to your stupid question to my list of duties. Please, I don't have time for your question and I don't have time to smile. Here's a question. Do you smile while you punch numbers in your cubicle? Or how about when you type up a report for your boss on the computer? Yeah, didn't think so.

The power of the dollar

Has anyone noticed this interesting trend?

Customer will walk in and come to the bar and order a beer. Then he will leave a dollar. Well, that was nice. And then this same customer comes up and orders a 50 dollar round for his table. Also leaves a dollar. He will then come up and order 30 dollars worth of shots. And, you guessed it, leave a dollar.

It's like the new tip at the bar has become a dollar.. no matter how much or little people order. Yes, when someone orders a beer it's a significant percentage. But not so much when we are mixing drinks and shots up.


Disclaimer: This occurrence may be more prominent in the bar setting.

Homecoming party

Every year all of us hard working bartenders, waitresses, and security guys miss out on Homecoming because it is so packed in our bar. We also all end up working 13 hour days and are miserably tired and angry afterwards. So every year our boss picks one day where he closes the bar and lets us loose. Free booze. Need I say more?

Well, last night was our party and I am just now getting around to writing about it, which shows just how much fun I had. We each brought a dish to pass and every single one us brought dishes that could serve all 40 of us. It was ridiculous. We had mounds of foods. Two hams, one turkey, 6 casseroles, 6 desserts, 3 kinds of potatoes, mini hot dogs, polish mistakes, and not to mention the pizza hut pasta, the subway party sub, and the KFC chicken. We had so much food left over it was almost sad. We contemplated giving it to a shelter but realized it would go bad by the time we could get it there.

After our feast we partied hard. The only liquor the boss man hid from us was the grey goose. Everything else from jager to patron to crown and jameson was ours for the taking. There was a constant flow of people behind the bar making shots and drinks. We also had a flippy cup station and a beer pong table set up. I'm happy to report back that for the second year in a row I was on the winning beer pong team, which doesn't say much since every game seemed to last a half four. Man, we all suck at beer pong.

Last year the boss's finace (he knocked her up by mistake when they were casually dating and now she has a share of his millions.. lucky girl) dropped a knife on one of the waitresses legs and sliced it open. So needles to say, this year he kept a tight leash on her. Which means she wasn't allowed to flirt with any of our managers like she always does, she wasn't allowed to take shots, and she had to stick by his side for the whole party. No knives were thrown this time.

Actually nothing really out of control happened which is the first time. Some of the coworkers were smoking pot out on the deck which I thought was ridiculous with our boss merely a few feet away. But that's as wild as it got. Usually a couple girls make out with eachother and flash all the guys, and people end up pairing off.. but not this year.

After the bar was closed we went over to a house for after hours and played cards. The manager that likes to pick on me picked the rule for circle of death. He made everyone "diss" me before they picked up a card and compliment him. Well, when it came around to my turn I took a drink of my beer and said that I would rather drink that compliment him. HAHA.

The night went pretty late and I was pretty hung over today. I actually had to drive 4 hours home because I have a second interview up here for a new job. After the party, I finally put in my two weeks notice. It was funny because in the speech the boss said "I want to thank everyone who is here for everything they've done and will do in the next year. I don't think anyone is leaving us anytime soon so..." And my friends all gave me a nudge. Well, I didn't want to get uninvited to the party because I quit, so I waited till after!

Don't worry I'll still be posting about the bar. I'm hoping to get a new weekend job as a waitress or bartender up here when I finally get settled. We will see. Happy holidays to everyone!

the bottom line.

An annoying drunk girl is sitting at the bar. I ask her what she needs and she says "What can I get for free?" "Yeah, nothing."

I serve other people and out of the corner of my eye I see the other bartender approaching her. She asks him the same question. And he gives the same response.

Seriously, I'm sick of bitching about people asking for free shots, but what gives? Would you walk into the gas station and ask for free gas? Would you ask the video rental for free videos? No. So, back off. And, quite frankly our cheapest shot was on special for a dollar. If you come to a bar without a dollar, you have serious problems.

Later in the night a guy walks up to the bar and ask for a drink. There are 3 minutes left. Which in our bar, and most bars I am familiar with.. means "shots only". I told him this and he whined.. I expected nothing more. He then asked the bartender working on my side and he got the same response. He then walked to the other side of the bar and asked both of those bartenders as well.

What annoys me about this is that people will say "ohhhh but I can drink it quick before you close". Yeah, but the thing is they don't. They sit in the bar until we've exhausted our please leave the bar is closed's... and have to start taking drinks from people and pushing them out. And then they will whine about having the drink they paid for thrown away. Well, maybe you shouldn't have begged for a drink when you only had three minutes to drink it. So, I just follow the rules and say no.. because I will be the unlucky bartender who gets spotted making a drink after the call by another customer who is trying to get a drink at the last minute.. and then everyone wants special privileges.

My point is, when you ask for things like free drinks and drinks after they've called last call, all you're doing is wasting my and the other customer's time. I don't want to argue for five minutes about why I have to follow the rules. Sorry, I like my job. . and quite frankly I don't feel like risking it for you. And that, folks, is the bottom line.

check this out..

Ever wonder where you can find blogs similar to mine? Do you like reading about the bartending industry.. whether it be about ridiculous customers or new drink recipes? Check out bartendingblogs.com for a list of blogs that inspire me.

http://www.bartendingblogs.com/Directory.html